Angry Long Enough with sujatha baliga

Angry Long Enough with sujatha baliga

I first met sujatha baliga many years ago when she led a weekend training on restorative circles at a Buddhist center in Sacramento, although I had heard of her and her work in restorative justice long before. We have connected many times over the subsequent years in both Buddhist and secular spaces, and share a commitment to conflict resolution and exploring how Buddhist principles can be made accessible to everyone through the development of secular programs, like sujatha’s forthcoming “Spiritual Fitness” program which we discuss in the podcast. I felt deeply honored that sujatha accepted my invitation to be part of “Voices of Love” and appreciate the wisdom and passion she brings to these topics.

Content notice: sujatha’s work involves restorative processes with situations of intimate partner violence and child sexual abuse, including her own experience, so this episode will refer at times to these experiences.

Bio:

sujatha baliga’s work is characterized by an equal dedication to crime survivors and people who’ve caused harm. A former victim advocate and public defender, baliga was awarded a Soros Justice Fellowship in 2008 which she used to launch a now nation-wide restorative youth diversion program. For her decades of work in conflict transformation and restorative justice, she was named a 2019 MacArthur Fellow.

During her many years as the Director of the Restorative Justice Project, sujatha helped communities across the nation implement restorative justice alternatives to juvenile detention and zero-tolerance school discipline policies. Today, she's dedicated to using this approach to end child sexual abuse and intimate partner violence. sujatha is a frequent guest lecturer at universities and conferences; she speaks publicly and inside prisons about her own experiences as a survivor of child sexual abuse and her path to forgiveness. She is working on her first book, Angry Long Enough, to be published by One World/Penguin Random House in 2026.

sujatha earned her A.B. from Harvard and Radcliffe Colleges, her J.D. from the University of Pennsylvania, and has held two federal district court clerkships. Her personal and research interests include the forgiveness of seemingly unforgivable acts and Buddhist notions of conflict transformation.

sujatha’s faith journey undergirds her justice work. A long-time Buddhist practitioner, she’s a lay member of the Gyuto Foundation, a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery in Richmond, CA, where she leads meditation on Monday nights. She makes her home in Berkeley, CA, with her partner of 28 years, Jason, and their 19-year-old child, Sathya.

Links:

• sujatha’s website: https://www.sujathabaliga.com/

• The upcoming Spiritual Fitness course

• Interview with Ezra Klein in 2020

• MacArthur Fellow information

• Gyuto Foundation

• Be Angry, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

It's Time to Talk About Peace with Rabbi Paula Marcus

It’s Time to Talk About Peace with Rabbi Paula Marcus

I met Rabbi Paula Marcus, senior rabbi of Temple Beth El in Aptos, CA, not long after returning to the Santa Cruz area in 2018. I was looking for ways to connect to interfaith social justice work in the area, and in every group I joined, Rabbi Paula was there! I remember our first meeting at an event organized by Partners in Caring, a project of the Hospice of Santa Cruz County to support faith leaders offering end-of-life care. It was like meeting an old friend, and I’ve treasured our connection and the meaningful interfaith events we’ve been part of together in the years since.

In this conversation, Rabbi Paula speaks about her childhood and some important early influences in her life, her decision to move to Santa Cruz and become involved in the community here in various ways, and her lifelong commitment to social justice activism and its expression through music and creativity. We talk about our commitment to bridge building and peacemaking, even when progress is difficult to see, and what gives us hope to continue with this work.

Rabbi Paula has been active for years (26 to be exact, as I learned during this conversation) in working for peace in Israel/Palestine. She has been leading pilgrimages in conjunction with a tour agency called MEJDI, (Arabic for “to honor”) and has been supporting the work of two peace activists, Palestinian Aziz Abu Sarah and Israeli Maoz Inon, who both lost family to the conflict. A book about their collaboration called The Future is Peace is forthcoming (see the links below for more information about Aziz and Maoz and peacebuilding organizations that Rabbi Paula is involved with).

Rabbi Paula Marcus’s bio:

Senior Rabbi Paula Marcus has served Temple Beth El since 1979, first as a teacher in the religious school and the preschool, then as a co-principal of the religious school, then as a congregational cantor, and as Rabbi beginning in May 2004, upon being ordained by the Academy for Jewish Religion in Los Angeles. She has apprenticed with cantors in the U.S. and Israel, and she received her BA in Judaic studies from SUNY at Binghamton. She also has a masters degree in Rabbinic studies from the Academy of Jewish Religion. Rabbi Marcus chairs the Ethics Committee of OHALAH-The Association of Rabbis for Jewish Renewal. She demonstrates her commitment to exploring spiituality and learning as rabbi, cantor, worship service leader, teacher, peacemaker and social justice activist.

Please click here to read some of Rabbi Paula's sermons and writings.

Links:

• Temple Beth El website:https://www.tbeaptos.org/clergy-and-staff.html

• Recent article by Rabbi Paula about her peace work:

And links to some of the people and organizations mentioned in the podcast:

• Aziz Abu Sarah, who is Palestinian, is the co-owner of MEJDI, a tour company that hosts Rabbi Paula’s tours to Israel/Palestine.

  
  

  Aziz is also the co-director of InterAct.  He and Maoz Inon are the co-directors. 

• And a forthcoming book by Aziz and Maoz:

  
  

  The Future is Peace: A Shared Journey Across the Holy Land by Aziz Abu Sarah and Maoz Inon

• “It’s Time”is a coalition of over 60 peacebuilding and shared society organizations, working together with determination and courage to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict through a political agreement that will ensure both peoples' right to self-determination and secure lives.

• The Parents Circle (people who have lost family members in the conflict)

• Combatants for Peace

• Standing Together (they have chapters in the US and Europe)

• Introducing “Standing Together,” a new global youth anthem. 

  
  

  The Jerusalem Youth Chorus and Uniting Voices Chicago teamed up with the grassroots movement Standing Together to share our stories, our visions, and our determination to build a better future - together.

  
  

  Standing Together | The Jerusalem Youth Chorus x Uniting Voices Chicago

Building Beloved Community

On Monday, January 19, we celebrate the legacy of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. One of the core principles of Rev. King’s teaching is the idea of “Beloved Community,” a society of justice, peace and harmony which can be achieved through nonviolence. The King Center website describes it like this:

Dr. King’s Beloved Community is a global vision, in which all people can share in the wealth of the earth. In the Beloved Community, poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood. In the Beloved Community, international disputes will be resolved by peaceful conflict-resolution and reconciliation of adversaries, instead of military power. Love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.

As I write these words, protesters outraged about the murder of Renee Nicole Good by ICE agents, and their ongoing violent tactics, fill the streets of Minnesota. Political polarization makes passing legislation in the US almost impossible. The president of Venezuela is being held in detention in the US following what some refer to as a kidnapping. The president of the US is jeopardizing long-standing US alliances by threatening to take over Greenland, potentially by force. Ongoing violent conflicts rage on in countries around the world, from Sudan to Myanmar. Beloved Community seems increasingly hard to imagine.

So much of the conversation these days is about who belongs. How do we imagine and create a world where everyone belongs? Where we can extend our care and concern and the wish for happiness and relief from suffering to all?

The kind of social, national and global change Rev. King was envisioning begins with the personal. We can’t create a peaceful, loving world or nation by skipping over the step of extending understanding and care to those we see as “other” in our own lives, those we disagree with politically, those with views we find abhorrent, or with biases and judgements we disagree with, or religious views that threaten our lifestyles and perhaps our very existence. In Buddhist compassion training, extending compassion relies on an understanding of common humanity: that everyone is the same in their wish to find happiness and avoid suffering, and everyone shares the same basic human feelings and needs.

Responding with care and compassion and kindness doesn’t mean we need to agree with others, be drawn to them or like them. But it means that we see that they are human beings, just like us, with feelings and needs, hopes and fears, just like us. It means extending the grace and generosity that tries to understand their situation, that is curious about their unique lives and experiences. Overcoming the tendency to see the “other” as unworthy of compassion.

And we might feel resistance, feel that humanizing someone who engages in acts of harm or damages the environment is somehow disloyal to our principles, to our own side. But it’s important to separate the person from their actions – we can strongly oppose the harmful actions of another and do everything in our power to stop it, while still extending care and compassion and kindness to that person.

However, this is an extremely challenging practice, and we need to train over an extended period of time before this becomes our default mode. But if we are committed to this vision of Beloved Community, and are willing to engage in the training, being patient with ourselves when we come up short and realize that it’s a process, the world can change and the Beloved Community can be actualized, one transformed heart at a time.

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Meditation: (with thanks to Margaret Cullin)

• Close eyes or lower gaze – then breathe deeply before beginning the contemplation.

• Bring to mind someone outside your circle of compassion, who maybe doesn’t seem like they deserve compassion.

• Not the most challenging person (exploring the edges of where your heart might be willing to go in this particular moment), not a political figure that gives you strong reactions but maybe someone you feel might not be deserving of your compassion — maybe they annoy you (e.g., inconsiderate, arrogant), maybe have disagreements, maybe arrogant, maybe they have biases against certain groups — maybe a 4 or 5 on a scale of 10 where 10 is the most challenging;

• Reflect on what you find annoying, irritating, or hurtful – as if you were sharing this with an understanding friend. Notice how you feel when you think of them (angry, judgmental, annoyed, etc.) — just a couple of words.

• Reflect on if you’re aware of an unmet need of yours that comes to your attention when you consider how you feel about this person’s behavior. It may be a need for connection or belonging, for safety, for respect or being seen. Just pause and see what comes up.

• Now, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and reflect on their situation.

  • Reflect: Is that person suffering? Do you think that person is suffering? And is there any part of you that might want to add to that suffering (the only right answer is what’s true for you right now)?

  • Now, try to imagine what feelings and needs the other person is expressing in the action or words that were the stimulus for your anger or annoyance, or lack of understanding. Might their behavior be an expression of an unmet need?

  • Focus your attention on your needs, and the needs of the other person. Notice how you are feeling at this moment. Are you still angry?

• What would it mean to you to offer compassion to this person? If someone were to ask you to have compassion for this person, what would extending compassion look like? And is there any part of you that might not want to do that? 

• When we are in conflict with someone, we often focus on the differences, but now take a moment to think of all of the things that you most likely share in common with this person. Perhaps you both work for the same company or go to the same school. Maybe you both have children, or a significant other. Probably you have both had your heart broken at one point or another, or have lost a loved one. At the broadest level, you both belong to the human species, which means that you share 99.9 percent of your DNA

• When you focus on these commonalities, how do they make you see this person in a new light? Instead of simply seeing this person as someone unfamiliar to you, or as a member of an out-group, now try to see this person as an individual, one whose tastes and experiences might overlap with yours in certain ways. See how this feels.

• Return to the breath for a few moments, and then slowly open your eyes.