This episode, recorded live during a teaching, dives deep into one of the most powerful emotions that can often manifest destructively -- anger. Ven. Tenzin uncovers the triggers of anger - and its antidotes - followed by a reflection that invites us to look at a past episode of anger, understand its roots and see clearly how often anger can be caused by (and cause) a misapprehension of reality.
Characteristics of Anger:
Theme: Being thwarted in pursuit of goal that matters to you
Effects: Anger controls, punishes and retaliates
Dangerous effect: Anger calls forth more anger. It is difficult not to respond to anger with anger, especially when it appears unjustified
Why do people want to change anger?
It is the dangerous emotion that can quickly hurt others, psychologically, and physically
Many taught not to express anger -> guilt, shame
For some own anger can get out of control -> fear
Common Anger Triggers
Interference and lack of efficacy
Someone trying to hurt us
Another person’s anger
Injustice: both societal and personal (not being given credit for work)
Disappointment in how a person has acted
Betrayal, abandonment, rejection
Being falsely accused
Breaking a cultural rule
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
Don’t take it personally!
Is the other person mirroring your own unwanted qualities?
Do you have a need that is not being met?
Check your expectation!
Check for an underlying emotion (fear, hurt, vulnerability)
Is there an important message?
Keep a healthy distance from triggering objects!
Cultivating loving-kindness and compassion